Yesterday, I had the joyful experience of getting pulled up in front of the judge by my client in an attempt to have me relieved because they believe that I have not been doing a good enough job. Having clients try to get you dismissed is just the nature of the beast when you are a public defender and usually I try very hard not to be personally offended by it. I am usually confident in my abilities and I know that I work hard for my clients, but still it definitely stings to stand up in front of everyone and hear about how crappy you are for anywhere from 2 to 20 minutes. But like I said sometimes it just happens. But yesterday was just one of those experience that just pisses me off no matter how hard I try not to let it.
In this particular instance I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have done everything possible and zealously advocated for this client. I also know that he is kinda an idiot. I mean don't get me wrong I would be pissed if I was stuck in jail and couldn't make bond but I have done everything I could to try to fix that. I have asked for a bond reduction not once, but twice. This is a shoplifting 3rd or more offense that carries up to 10 years and the guy says he did not do it and that the surveillance with show this to be true. I have subpoenaed the surveillance video and then when it didn't arrive when projected I very vocally argued about the unjust nature of his detainment on record and basically accused law enforcement of being liars. I have pushed the boundaries and anything more would be unethical. Just being told that I am not doing enough is annoying but I could have let it slide but dear Mr. Client felt the need to go farther.
We got up in front of the judge and he proceeded to go on and on about how I was out of my depth and that he didn't think I was capable of handling something as complicated as his case. He then called me lazy and a liar. Always fun but fine whatever. I know I can handle a simple shoplifting. The presiding judge was very nice in defending me and said some very kind words about my abilities. The judge decided that I was to stay on the case because Mr. Client wasn't going to find a better and more dedicated attorney. Okay that made me feel nice. Not the part about staying on mean clients case cause that sucks but the bit about my abilities. Mr. Client's rant must have sounded pretty bad because another inmate happened to hear the whole thing apparently felt I needed a pep talk after that sound lashing and flagged me down to say "Don't believe him girl. You know you be good." Always good when you become a subject of pity.
So we get back to my court office interview room thing and Mr. Client is still railing about how stupid and incompetent I am and that he is getting railroaded. He started screaming at me and said that he knew "what my boyfriend Solicitor X and I were trying to do and that we weren't going to fuck him over" and that if I spent more time on his case instead of "screwing my solicitor boyfriend" he would be in a better position. And this, my friends, is where I officially get pissed about the situation. First I am not dating or sleeping with a solicitor but really that accusation doesn't really bother me. What gets me is that basically dude is calling me a lazy slut who would rather get laid then do her job and to add insult to injury apparently thinks I am an idiot who just does her boyfriend's bidding. Now, I have been accused of sleeping with solicitors before and in the past those accusing clients always want me to use sexual favors to get a better result for them. See I might be a slut in their eyes but at least a smart manipulative one. I can handle that. But here I am just doing my man's bidding and selling people down the river. Awesome.
Nov 19, 2010
Nov 17, 2010
Words of Wisdom
If all of my clients (of any race) could see this video and follow the advise I feel fairly confident that I would have a significantly smaller case load. Hell I might even be out of a job. Most of what Chris says is just too true both about avoiding a beat-down and avoiding an arrest.
How do you defend those people?!
Whenever I get asked this question I am always confused as to who "those people" are referring to. Are you talking about poor people? People who have criminal records? People who admit their guilt? Or just people you assume are guilty because they have been charged? Usually I ask for clarification and the question becomes "How can you defend people you know are guilty?' After years of kinda floundering to clearly explain my thoughts on this I have finally come up with a pretty standard way to express my thoughts on it.
First I think people ask this question in regards to trial and I rarely go to trial. This is not a rarity. Regardless of what most tv law procedurals show, most case are resolved by plea, pre-trial diversion programs, or pre-trial dismissal by the state. The largest percentage of my cases are resolved via plea deals that usually involve a good amount of negotiations to come up with a resolution that both sides can agree to. When you take the very small percent of cases that actually go to trial, I rarely if ever KNOW that those people are guilty. The only people who actually know 100% percent what happened are the people involved in the incident. I was not there thus can never be certain. Sure I can have my suspicions but that is not the same as knowing.
And let me tell you people hate that answer. Their response is always followed by "come on you might not know know but you know." And to answer that yeah in some cases I do, but it is fundamentally import to remember that being charged with a crime does not automatically equal being guilty. Sometimes an innocent man does get accused. But even if my client isn't an innocent man, my job isn't to judge. My job is to represent my client and to advocate for his rights. The state prosecutes an action but a defense attorney defends the person. In almost every circumstance, representing does not equal agreeing with their actions or decisions. My job is to defend a person's rights. It is to ensure that the state has met its burden of proof and that the rights and protections our country guarantees us are properly given. Everyone must be treated equally under the law when a case is being built. Police cannot change the rules for the good guys or the bad guys, because the question then becomes who is the person who decides who is bad. Creating a sliding scale of rights is a slippery slope. Normally I hate that phrase because people use it to connect ridiculous things that don't connect (like the crap about allowing gay marriage is a slippery slope for allowing man-animal marriage...complete bullshit) but in this case slippery slope is exactly what it would and can create. When you allow those in authority to alter what rights a person has slowly more and more people get slid into the range of undeserving. When will you the ordinary citizen slide over to the unprotected side of the list? Is it when you get a speeding ticket or do a non-complete stop? Or is it when you go to a protest? Or when you are an outspoken opponent of the President? Where is the line?
What I just said might sound all conspiracy theorist and over dramatic but that is what it basically boils down to. The state has a very serious job of protecting society as a whole from dangerous individuals. I respect that job and am glad that honorable people work hard everyday to do that job. Good people risk their lives as law enforcement officers and other good people work hard to convict criminals in court. But that being said I, and many other criminal defense attorneys, will not give them a free pass to do it. Its our job to hold the state's feet over the metaphorical fire and make sure they use the correct procedures to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that someone is guilty before they can take away our most basic of rights, Freedom. Wouldn't you want that if it was your mom or brother or child sitting in the defendant's seat?
Okay stepping off soap box and ending rant.
First I think people ask this question in regards to trial and I rarely go to trial. This is not a rarity. Regardless of what most tv law procedurals show, most case are resolved by plea, pre-trial diversion programs, or pre-trial dismissal by the state. The largest percentage of my cases are resolved via plea deals that usually involve a good amount of negotiations to come up with a resolution that both sides can agree to. When you take the very small percent of cases that actually go to trial, I rarely if ever KNOW that those people are guilty. The only people who actually know 100% percent what happened are the people involved in the incident. I was not there thus can never be certain. Sure I can have my suspicions but that is not the same as knowing.
And let me tell you people hate that answer. Their response is always followed by "come on you might not know know but you know." And to answer that yeah in some cases I do, but it is fundamentally import to remember that being charged with a crime does not automatically equal being guilty. Sometimes an innocent man does get accused. But even if my client isn't an innocent man, my job isn't to judge. My job is to represent my client and to advocate for his rights. The state prosecutes an action but a defense attorney defends the person. In almost every circumstance, representing does not equal agreeing with their actions or decisions. My job is to defend a person's rights. It is to ensure that the state has met its burden of proof and that the rights and protections our country guarantees us are properly given. Everyone must be treated equally under the law when a case is being built. Police cannot change the rules for the good guys or the bad guys, because the question then becomes who is the person who decides who is bad. Creating a sliding scale of rights is a slippery slope. Normally I hate that phrase because people use it to connect ridiculous things that don't connect (like the crap about allowing gay marriage is a slippery slope for allowing man-animal marriage...complete bullshit) but in this case slippery slope is exactly what it would and can create. When you allow those in authority to alter what rights a person has slowly more and more people get slid into the range of undeserving. When will you the ordinary citizen slide over to the unprotected side of the list? Is it when you get a speeding ticket or do a non-complete stop? Or is it when you go to a protest? Or when you are an outspoken opponent of the President? Where is the line?
What I just said might sound all conspiracy theorist and over dramatic but that is what it basically boils down to. The state has a very serious job of protecting society as a whole from dangerous individuals. I respect that job and am glad that honorable people work hard everyday to do that job. Good people risk their lives as law enforcement officers and other good people work hard to convict criminals in court. But that being said I, and many other criminal defense attorneys, will not give them a free pass to do it. Its our job to hold the state's feet over the metaphorical fire and make sure they use the correct procedures to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that someone is guilty before they can take away our most basic of rights, Freedom. Wouldn't you want that if it was your mom or brother or child sitting in the defendant's seat?
Okay stepping off soap box and ending rant.
Why the Blog?
One of the big reasons I decided to blog is just a a journal of sorts for myself years down the road in my old age when I have most likely left criminal defense. I want to be able to look back with clarity as to all the stuff I did and kinda have a screen capture of how I thought and reacted to things at this point in my life. I had a blog in law school and it was a great stress relief but it is also really interesting to go back now 3 years later and see how some of my opinions have changed. I can't imagine what the comparison will be like in 20 or 30 years from now.
But since I am apparently just arrogant enough to think my ramblings might be amusing or even illuminating to others I decided to make this available to anyone on the interwebs. So from now on I am just going to pretend that I have an audience hanging on my every word as I write. Its more fun that way. And even if I don't have some mass following maybe some bored law student will stumble upon this blog while sitting in class or avoiding studying so I have decided to pepper this blog with things I have learned along the way. Maybe it will help somebody or maybe not. Mostly it will be me being sarcastic and perhaps even caustic cause frankly that is how I deal with stress and with this job there is more than enough stress to go around. Mostly this job is intensely hard work and alot of compromise. Every once in a while you get an out-an-out win but mostly its scaled wins or even big defeats. You have to find comedy where you can because otherwise the sadness of watching a parade of people going through the legal justice system over and over will get to you
But since I am apparently just arrogant enough to think my ramblings might be amusing or even illuminating to others I decided to make this available to anyone on the interwebs. So from now on I am just going to pretend that I have an audience hanging on my every word as I write. Its more fun that way. And even if I don't have some mass following maybe some bored law student will stumble upon this blog while sitting in class or avoiding studying so I have decided to pepper this blog with things I have learned along the way. Maybe it will help somebody or maybe not. Mostly it will be me being sarcastic and perhaps even caustic cause frankly that is how I deal with stress and with this job there is more than enough stress to go around. Mostly this job is intensely hard work and alot of compromise. Every once in a while you get an out-an-out win but mostly its scaled wins or even big defeats. You have to find comedy where you can because otherwise the sadness of watching a parade of people going through the legal justice system over and over will get to you
Nov 16, 2010
I Seduced Her to the Floor
A few months ago I had the enjoyable experience of seeing what I thought was going to be a pretty standard CDV (criminal domestic violence) plea, that ended up being so much more. It was awesome. Things went pretty normally till the judge asked the victim if he would like to speak and then craziness ensued. Mr. Victim casually sauntered up to the bar and said he guessed he could say a few words that began a 10 minute rant about how he had money and no debt until the day he had married Ms. Jane Doe and that his life had been nothing but heartache from there. Then after rambling for a bit more he got to the good bit...when describing what happened he said that the wife threw hot grease on him (not the good point. wait for it....)and that at that point he had no choice and I quote but to "seduce her to the floor and then hold her down with my good arm." To this day we still all chuckle about this. Maybe it doesn't translate too well to blog form but trust me this was awesomely funny. As my co-worker jokes was he like, " Hey baby, look at this nice floor. Isn't it so sexy? Don't you wanna just reach down and touch it?" So lesson here folks if you commit an assault against your partner be prepared for them to seduce you into submission on the sexy sexy floor.
I Ain't Tryin' to Do No Time
This is pretty much one of the most common phrases I hear. As I am sure you may of guessed these are referring to prison time, which in street lingo is also known as "going down the road." Why down the road you ask, even though the nearest prison is about 45 minutes away? Frankly I have no clue but apparently street slang for spending time in prison is the rough equivalent to what I used to tell my mother when I was going to visit my best friend/neighbor at age 6. So parents be aware next time your kid says they are going down the road they might just be hanging with the wrong crowd and going to visit a "homie" in the state pen.
It doesn't matter whether my client is facing a simple possession (30 days) or an attempted murder charge, one of the first things they say to me is always "I ain't tryin to do no time." Really?!! Here I was thinking that is exactly what you want. Does that mean that I shouldn't have been working hard to get you the harshest sentence possible?? My bad. Dear client please answer me this, who is trying to do some time? When have you ever met someone who is just busting at the seems to go to prison. Sure there are the institutionalized who can't really cope with life on the streets so end up committing more crimes that land them back in prison, but even then they never really say "please miss get me the most time possible." Seriously guys I get it. Prison is not fun and no one wants to go there. I guess what that is why its called prison and not sleep away camp (although I really did hate Camp Tanglewood. Damn you Girl Scout Camp!). I get that you don't want to be away from your family and lose your freedom....it is kinda a given and I will work hard to prevent it but lets all be reasonable and acknowlege that it is pretty much a universal truth that prison = bad and freedom = good.
It doesn't matter whether my client is facing a simple possession (30 days) or an attempted murder charge, one of the first things they say to me is always "I ain't tryin to do no time." Really?!! Here I was thinking that is exactly what you want. Does that mean that I shouldn't have been working hard to get you the harshest sentence possible?? My bad. Dear client please answer me this, who is trying to do some time? When have you ever met someone who is just busting at the seems to go to prison. Sure there are the institutionalized who can't really cope with life on the streets so end up committing more crimes that land them back in prison, but even then they never really say "please miss get me the most time possible." Seriously guys I get it. Prison is not fun and no one wants to go there. I guess what that is why its called prison and not sleep away camp (although I really did hate Camp Tanglewood. Damn you Girl Scout Camp!). I get that you don't want to be away from your family and lose your freedom....it is kinda a given and I will work hard to prevent it but lets all be reasonable and acknowlege that it is pretty much a universal truth that prison = bad and freedom = good.
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