I Ain't Tryin' to Do No Time

This is pretty much one of the most common phrases I hear. As I am sure you may of guessed these are referring to prison time, which in street lingo is also known as "going down the road."  Why down the road you ask, even though the nearest prison is about 45 minutes away? Frankly I have no clue but apparently street slang for spending time in prison is the rough equivalent to what I used to tell my mother when I was going to visit my best friend/neighbor at age 6.  So parents be aware next time your kid says they are going down the road they might just be hanging with the wrong crowd and going to visit a "homie" in the state pen.

It doesn't matter whether my client is facing a simple possession (30 days) or an attempted murder charge, one of the first things they say to me is always "I ain't tryin to do no time."  Really?!! Here I was thinking that is exactly what you want. Does that mean that I shouldn't have been working hard to get you the harshest sentence possible??  My bad.  Dear client please answer me this, who is trying to do some time?  When have you ever met someone who is just busting at the seems to go to prison.  Sure there are the institutionalized who can't really cope with life on the streets so end up committing more crimes that land them back in prison, but even then they never really say "please miss get me the most time possible."  Seriously guys I get it.  Prison is not fun and no one wants to go there.  I guess what that is why its called prison and not sleep away camp (although I really did hate Camp Tanglewood. Damn you Girl Scout Camp!).  I get that you don't want to be away from your family and lose your freedom....it is kinda a given and I will work hard to prevent it but lets all be reasonable and acknowlege that it is pretty much a universal truth that prison = bad and freedom = good.