Jane, You Ignorant Slut

Yesterday, I had the joyful experience of getting pulled up in front of the judge by my client in an attempt to have me relieved because they believe that I have not been doing a good enough job. Having clients try to get you dismissed is just the nature of the beast when you are a public defender and usually I try very hard not to be personally offended by it.  I am usually confident in my abilities and I know that I work hard for my clients, but still it definitely stings to stand up in front of everyone and hear about how crappy you are for anywhere from 2 to 20 minutes.  But like I said sometimes it just happens.  But yesterday was just one of those experience that just pisses me off no matter how hard I try not to let it.

In this particular instance I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have done everything possible and zealously advocated for this client.  I also know that he is kinda an idiot.  I mean don't get me wrong I would be pissed if I was stuck in jail  and couldn't make bond but I have done everything I could to try to fix that.   I have asked for a bond reduction not once, but twice.  This is a shoplifting 3rd or more offense that carries up to 10 years and the guy says he did not do it and that the surveillance with show this to be true.  I have subpoenaed the surveillance video and then when it didn't arrive when projected I very vocally argued about the unjust nature of his detainment on record and basically accused law enforcement of being liars.    I have pushed the boundaries and anything more would be unethical.  Just being told that I am not doing enough is annoying but I could have let it slide but dear Mr. Client felt the need to go farther.

We got up in front of the judge and he proceeded to go on and on about how I was out of my depth and that he didn't think I was capable of handling something as complicated as his case.  He then called me lazy and a liar.   Always fun but fine whatever.  I know I can handle a simple shoplifting. The presiding judge was very nice in defending me and said some very kind words about my abilities.  The judge decided that I was to stay on the case because Mr. Client wasn't going to find a better and more dedicated attorney.  Okay that made me feel nice.  Not the part about staying on mean clients case  cause that sucks but the bit about my abilities.  Mr. Client's rant must have sounded pretty bad because another inmate happened to hear the whole thing apparently felt I needed a pep talk after that sound lashing and flagged me down to say "Don't believe him girl. You know you be good."  Always good when you become a subject of pity.

So we get back to my court office interview room thing and Mr. Client is still railing about how stupid and incompetent I am and that he is getting railroaded.   He started screaming at me and said that he knew "what my boyfriend Solicitor X and I were trying to do and that we weren't going to fuck him over" and that if I spent more time on his case instead of "screwing my solicitor boyfriend" he would be in a better position.   And this, my friends, is where I officially get pissed about the situation.  First I am not dating or sleeping with a solicitor but really that accusation doesn't really bother me. What gets me is that basically dude is calling me a lazy slut who would rather get laid then do her job and to add insult to injury apparently thinks I am an idiot who just does her boyfriend's bidding.  Now, I have been accused of sleeping with solicitors before and in the past those accusing clients always want me to use sexual favors to get a better result for them.  See I might be a slut in their eyes but at least a smart manipulative one.  I can handle that. But here I am just doing my man's bidding and selling people down the river.  Awesome.